After more than three years of dating and almost 30 years of marriage I have learned a few things about making my wife's birthday a special day for her.  That's not to say that every one of her birthdays were amazingly special days, each better than the year before.   No, despite my good intentions there were some hits and some misses the past 33 years.   As is often the case, I have learned just as much, if not more, from my mistakes as I did from my successes.  It's not just about finding the perfect birthday gift for her but much more.  Hopefully what I share with you here will give you some great ideas and just as importantly help you not make some of the same mistakes I have made over the years.  

To start with it is important to keep in mind that everyone woman has different interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes.  I will share examples of activities or ideas that have worked for me but they may not be something your wife would like.   For example, my wife hates to be the center of attention.    If I put her in a situation where everyone is looking at her (like a surprise birthday party) she will not be happy.   However, a more intimate dinner with a few couple friends is something she would love.   You know what your wife likes and dislikes so use the examples below to get the creative juices flowing and then adjust your plans appropriately.  

Three Steps to Make Your Wife's Birthday Special

1) Fill Her Day with Small, Heartfelt Gestures & Memories

Love Notes | Shadow Breeze

More than any gift you give her, these small gestures will make her feel loved and special on her birthday.   While not expensive, some of these do require  advance planning and effort so start your planning early, at least a couple of weeks before her birthday.  Listed below are three examples of fun ways to let her know you love and appreciate her on her birthday.

a) Leave mini "love notes" around the house.   Leave notes where she will find them throughout the day as she goes through her day.   Some locations might include her bathroom mirror, her favorite coffee mug, her steering wheel, her laptop, etc.  The note should be tailored for just that location.   For example, on the note on her mirror you might write "Now you can see why I can't stop looking at you."  The note in the coffee mug might read "You're the only drug I need to get me going each day."   On her steering wheel the note might "You still drive me crazy."   On her laptop the note could read "For some reason we just work." 
Try to place the notes in locations that she will access throughout the day to help the excitement last all day.

b) Perform chores or activities that she normally does.   Make a list ahead of time of the chores or activities she does each day.  These might include getting the kids ready, preparing meals, helping with homework, cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc.   While you work on these activities let her know that she should do something for herself.    Maybe she could play with the kids, read a book, stream her favorite show or just relax in a bath.    As you complete these tasks be sure to tell her how much you appreciate everything she does for you and the family every day.  

c)  Text photos & memories to her throughout the day.

Couple at Eiffel Tower

This one will take a little preparation on your part.  A few days before her birthday gather a handful of photos of time you have spent with her.  It may be past birthdays, vacations or any other time that will bring back fond memories.     Every hour or two on her birthday text her a photo with a brief memory.   For example, "I loved the trip we took to Europe for our 10th wedding anniversary.     Every time I see the Eiffel Tower I remember that trip and how much I enjoyed being with you." 

Sending photos with the memories is a nice touch and will let her know that you have been working to make her day special.  

2) Plan one event that you know she will love

Because everyone has different interests, likes and dislikes, only you will know which activity is perfect for her,    It should be something that she doesn't do often and that she will enjoy.  Work out all of the details ahead of time to make sure the event goes off without a hitch.   You may want to recruit one of your friends or one of hers to help coordinate, especially if it will be a surprise.  Make sure the details are planned ahead of time so you are not frantically trying to work things out on her birthday.   If a sitter is needed make sure you have that arranged.    There are countless number of things which you could do.    Listed below are 10 potential ideas to help you get some ideas.   Take one of these and put your own twist on it or come up with your own.


Ten Fun Things to Do with Your Wife on Her Birthday

Couple on Picnic

  1. Take a picnic dinner, a blanket and a laptop/tablet and watch a movie at the park
  2. Recreate your first date - pay attention to the details and she will be blown away
  3.  Throw a surprise birthday dinner with some of your closest couple friends
  4.  Attend the symphony or a community play
  5.  Take a cooking class or other type of class together
  6.  Go to a "painting date night" facility and learn how to paint 
  7.  Get a couples massage followed up by dessert
  8. Get a pedicure together
  9. Head to the beach or mountains and make a campfire for s'mores
  10. Play laser tag, drive go karts or some other fun activity and follow it up with dinner at a food truck

 3) Get Her a Thoughtful Birthday Gift

Giving the right gift can be one of the most stressful parts of the birthday but it doesn't have to be.   The old adage "it is the thought that counts" is very true in this situation.  As her birthday nears, pay close attention to any hints she may be giving you, either consciously or unconsciously.   Ask yourself, what do you see her looking at online?    What causes her to stop and window shop when you are out?    What has she said about something a friend was wearing or received?  If you take time to think about it you will probably come up with a great idea.

Birthday Gift Box for Her | Shadow Breeze

If despite your best efforts you are still at a loss for what to give her there are a few things you can fall back on.     If you know she likes jewelry that is always a good choice.   However, don't just grab the first thing you see when you walk in the store.    Think about her style.   Maybe even take a peak in her jewelry box to see what she has and likes.  If you are still stumped you can always her a personalized birthday gift box with a birthstone necklace for her birth month.   That will show her you gave it some thought and didn't just buy the first bracelet you saw.  

Make it a Birthday She'll Remember

When you fill her day with heartfelt gestures and memories, plan one perfect event and give her a thoughtful birthday gift, you have the recipe for an amazing birthday.  Be sure to personalize your plans for her.   You know her better than anyone else so use that knowledge to plan HER perfect birthday.   With a little planning and effort she will know how much you care and will remember this birthday for years to come.  

July 21, 2021 — Matt Graham

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